I often go out of my way to help others, even when I struggle myself. I hide my emotions so well that I doubt my friends have ever seen me cry. My resilience helps me get through tough times, but there are moments when I feel vulnerable. During those times, I’ve learned that taking a step back and prioritizing myself is necessary, not just a luxury.

The 2020 lockdown was a turning point for me. It forced me to confront a hard truth: I had spent years putting everyone else’s needs above my own. Whether it was friends, family, or even strangers, their problems always seemed more pressing than mine. For so long, I believed this selflessness was a virtue. But during the pandemic, I realized the toll it had taken on my mental health. For the first time in my life, I needed someone to help me, and I felt utterly alone.

Despite being a psychologist and equipped with tools to help others cope, I found myself unable to apply those same methods to my own struggles. Anxiety and depression took over, leaving me in a dark place for two weeks. It was an eye-opening experience, one that taught me the importance of choosing myself first.

Choosing yourself doesn’t mean neglecting others; it means ensuring that you’re in a good place mentally, emotionally, and physically before offering your energy to others. It’s like the airplane rule: you must secure your own oxygen mask before helping those around you. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

I’ve since started setting boundaries, learning to say no, and making my mental health a priority. I still want to help others after all, it’s in my nature. But I now understand that it’s okay to pause, take care of myself, and recharge. Because when I’m whole and healthy, I’m better equipped to support the people I care about.

Choosing yourself first is not selfish; it’s self-preservation. It’s about acknowledging your worth and knowing that you deserve the same care and compassion you freely give to others. And from my experience, it’s the greatest act of self-love.